I'm not really -- I know that my brain can't fully grasp or comprehend what happened. I can say where I was and I can recite the chronology of the events, but no amount of thought will ever make me understand how someone can do something that cruel to another human. Yes people belong to a nationality, but before we belong to a nationality, we belong to the human race. The offspring of a Chinese person and an American isn't going to be a sterile mutant child -- the human form of a mule. Genetically we differ only in tiny trivial things: skin color, eye color, hair color. But our genes beyond that are the same. Someone's DNA won't tell you what nationality he is.
We are all human.
I don't understand how anyone could think something was so bad, so inherently evil that life ceased to matter to them. That the lives of fellow humans stopped being important.
That thought makes me want to cry.
And I have been affected by this whole incident. But the way it's affected me is that I have become sensitive to stereotypes and to comments that normally I would have let slip past. I won't let my friends say something is "gay" in a derrogatory manner anymore because I can't stand that kind of ignorance and intolerance. I will get on someone's case for making remarks like that, maybe not the first time, and maybe more gently sometimes than others, but I don't just let it slip past anymore, granting my tacet approval. Because tacet approval to actions like that is what causes hate to grow.
There are other reasons that I've started speaking up about it too, but I don't feel like going into those right now.