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wrestling with writing

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May. 2nd, 2001 | 10:44 pm
mood: apatheticapathetic
music: Indigo Girls - Secure Yourself

My essay is bothering me. I feel like I keep sticking things into it and like it is not a well-crafted essay at all. A well crafted essay would have a distinct point and would make its point and be finished... with perhaps some meandering tangents, but tangents that all clearly lead to someplace. I feel like I have an essay that is a bunch of writing on non-related subjects that fit together in a very jagged sort of way, which is quite uncomfortable for me to read and worse to write.

I am fighting procrastinatory urges. I have another website that I can redesign. I have songs that I can download. I can write a zillion winamp playlists.

I must finish this essay. *sigh*

I think that after I turn in my paper on Friday I am going to go downtown to the World Trade Center and apply for more jobs. I applied for 3 today... I have an interview on Monday. We will have work this summer, yes. Work is a good thing. Money is good. And I need to have something to tell people when I go back home in a week and a half.

A week and a half... much much much too soon. I do not want to go home. I want to stay here. And it's weird because it seems like I should want to go home and I have so little desire to do that. It's funny. When I lived in Minnesota, I couldn't wait to leave -- I always wanted to be going somewhere, anywhere, just to see something new. And now I live in New York and I don't care to leave because there are so many new things for me to discover here.

Although I still want to see the world.

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