Liz (stellae) wrote,

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Theatre: a true love-hate relationship.

I have discovered that I have very much a love-hate relationship with theatre. For instance, I am becoming a playwright... not as a profession, but just in terms of training and so on. I am beginning to enjoy writing plays now and experiencing what John Guare described in his preface to Six Degrees of Separation. I experience times at which you just feel characters and thoughts and ideas knocking persistently in your head and you just have to write it down because it won't let you sleep, it won't let you think... it just is there and will not go away.

Today was my final in playwriting. According to my professor, nobody got below an A-, which means I can count on an A- for the course. Hooray! I had hoped for an A, but given that I was ready to collapse and break down into tears over how terrible I felt two weeks ago, I am now much vindicated. And I have the beginnings of a play that has potential to go somewhere and this makes me happy. I also have a framework laid out for a second play which I started a while ago and intend to finish, my confidence in my ability to write having been restored.

I am feeling creative and inspired and just all around wonderful. It is the days like these, the moments like these that make me love theatre intensely and want to do it for the rest of my life. Then I look at reality and realize how unpredictable these moments are and how rarely they come... and I decide that I will go into science because I love it intensely as well and it's much easier on my mind and stress level.

But. I am done with one class for the entire semester and this makes me feel just insanely good. Because it is almost as if the worst is over, like now that I have one final done, I can gear up and have confidence in myself and my writing and I will then get good grades on my other things and my GPA will in fact survive. I wanted to stay at a 3.7, and I am not sure that that will happen. But then again, it may. If I can get an A in world cultures (possible if I do well on the last paper) and an A in chem lab (likely) and an A- in chemistry and an A- in playwriting and an A- in writing sweatshop, I will probably be all right. And it is theoretically possible for me to get an A- in writing workshop... but it means I must do superbly well on this last essay. Mucho pressure.

This too shall pass. I will just keep repeating that to myself and I will be all right.

I only have 2 finals. Chem lab (easyeasy) and Chemistry (difficult but not ridiculously so. I must prepare well and then the exam will be fine).

It has been a very, very good day.

I need to start packing things and sending them home.
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