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Until I know

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Mar. 29th, 2001 | 05:45 pm
mood: hyperhyper
music: Vertical Horizon - Everything She Wants

I am operating on a schedule of successive naps right now. I finished my lab report at 6 am. Yes. 6 am. It would have been earlier if my computer hadn't picked such an inopportune time to completely crash in a way that I couldn't recover 6 pages of work. That set me back a bit. The one thing I wonder about is what my roommate thought when she got up at 6 and saw me still working away on my computer... I did go to bed at about quarter after, only to get up again in two and a half hours to go to class.

And tonight will be another long night. I sent a pleading email to my writing teacher asking for an extension on my essay, because my computer crashed and I lost time which I would have spent on my essay in that crash, and she granted me that extension, so it's only some massive studying to be done tonight. I can do this. I will probably be rather crabby by the weekend, but perhaps not. I'm in a state now where I'm exhausted but can't sleep because I have too much adrenaline in my system. I don't even need caffeine pills.

But. Things will be better once today is done. Plus I won't be this huge bundle of nerves over my baptism. I will know... and really I know what I would like the verdict to be, but I am prepared for it to be something other than that, and I will be content either way because it is Jehovah's time. Plus I won't have the energy to process disappointment until this weekend. At least I will know, and I will deal better with that than I do with not knowing.

Soon soon.

Ah well. Time to make myself look like a human being (as opposed to death warmed over, which is what I look like now) and put my things together for the meeting tonight.

I ate dinner too fast. My tummy hurts now. But this too could be nerves.

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