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I had a good title but now I've forgotten it

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Mar. 8th, 2001 | 10:53 pm
mood: tiredtired
music: Scarlet Pimpernel - She Was There

One day more... one day more. (Les Miz anyone?)

Tomorrrow at this time I will be happily in Brooklyn watching movies with my friend. This will be good. And I will be done with evil chem homework and evil chem quizzes and it will be spring break.

The onset of Spring Break brings many a very good thing. First, it is Spring Break. This means I will be able to sleep and get rest and recreate myself. Not that all of myself is in need of recreation, but there is a part of me that is. I am in a rut of being pressured by academia and questioning what it is I really should be doing with my life, and I need to just set all of that aside for a while. I need to find security in myself again. I need to find certainty in where I am going.

But then, all is vanity.

I have to declare a major at the end of the semester. My mentor suggested I declare biology and then track into Neural Science, but I am thinking that perhaps I will declare Dramatic Literature. I can always change it later -- if I decide to only do a minor or to not do the major at all or whatever. But Neural Science, I have decided will be my first major. It will be the major in which I do the honors track. That will be what is listed first on my degree.

I have chem homework waiting for me and I am procrastinating. Shame on me.

My mommy is coming in a few days!!!! This makes me so very very happy. Unspeakably happy. I miss her more than any other single person, I think. I miss theatre, too. I see a lot of it, but SEEING doesn't replace DOING. I want to be attatched to a production again. Unfortunately the dates for all of the ones this spring were rather inopportune. But. I shall have my chance. This is New York. There are always things auditioning, things playing. Things that I could find a way to be involved with.

It's funny. I used to think that I only wanted to act. But while acting is fun, I couldn't do it night after night after night, doing the same thing. No matter how much I loved the show. I would be happier as a designer or a choreographer or even a dramaturg. I would love to direct, but I don't know that I would make a good director. But I know that I will have theatre in my life in one way or another... because it seems that something is missing for me without it.

We shall see. We shall see.

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