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I remember when

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Mar. 7th, 2001 | 04:54 pm
mood: complacentcomplacent
music: Songs for a New World - Hear My Song

I remember when I used to write many entries a day. For the last two months I have mostly written 1 a day. Sometimes two. I have no reason for it, even. School is not insanely taxing, really (especially since I have no drive and cut as many corners as I can with my schoolwork) and I have not been insanely busy. Although I actually have a social life. Which is new to me, I must say. In high school I had so many activities and such a rigid schedule that I never made time for myself or my friends. My life was work and activities, and sometimes I think that means I missed out.

But now I feel like I'm missing something from my life because I don't have a trillion activities to keep my life in balance. I need to get into the habit of taking dance classes again. Or some sort of physical activitiy. Because the lack of it in my life right now is depressing me. I am going through a time where I hate my body and I want to spend far too much time sleeping. It is not healthy. But I am not doing anything self-destructive so it can't really be that bad. Or at least that is what I tell myself.

Two days until Spring Break. Two days until I can take time to recreate my soul. One week until my mother visits and we will have a wonderful wonderful time because we always do.

I am going to be productive today and go run some errands that I have been intending to run for a very long while. And I will clean my dorm room. Because I think living in a neater environment will make me feel better about myself. It's funny. I never used to be hard on my self for having a cluttery nature and now I am quite hard on myself for it. I am also fed up with the incredible accumulation of paper that happens in college. I can't seem to get rid of it fast enough.

I feel sorry for the poor trees.

The sunshine that made me so happy this morning is already beginning to fade. I don't know where I am going to live this summer and that uncertainty makes me uneasy. I want to know that I have a place to live, and that the place is not in Minneapolis. And somehow, I feel like I would be more driven to find a job out here if I knew I had housing. Because if I get a job and then have to apologize and say "actually, I can't do it. I don't have anywhere to live," I will feel just terrible. How sad.

It is time for me to go and do something. Or else I will crawl into bed and sleep, and that will be stupid.

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Comments {1}

This is a beautiful entry, Liz dear.

from: anonymous
date: Mar. 7th, 2001 10:42 pm (UTC)

Sentences like "Two days until I can take time to recreate my soul" and "I feel sorry for the poor trees" have such rhythm, truth, and beauty that I exhort you to cultivate the part of yourself that gives birth to such thoughts. Then will you be a great writer, Liz!

And thank you so so so much for the gorgeous, fabulicious real actual snail-mail letter!!!! I will treasure it, I was showing it off to my friends--ah, it is pure wonderfulness. Life these days is so good, so pure, so beautiful!!!
Love always, ~D.S.~

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