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just thoughts and stuff.

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Feb. 25th, 2001 | 11:10 pm
mood: busybusy
music: Jane Eyre - 25. Brave Enough for Love

I have so much work to do for writing sweatshop. And what am I doing? Playing around on my computer. Shame on me. I just have no drive at the moment... which is terrible, and I'm sure that if I started working on something I would become engaged with it and involved with it and would make great progress, but unfortunately I just don't feel like working.

Perhaps I can procrastinate by taking a shower. Although really I should just dive in and do my homework. I am such a bad bad girl.

At least I cleaned my room this weekend. That is my accomplishment.

I did not like the talk at meeting today. Part of that, I suppose, is related to the fact that sometimes I have difficulties with the whole headship thing. I don't really, but something about the way the brother put it this morning just bothered me. That and how he talked about children who don't grasp the truth and don't make it their own in their teen years as "problem children" or "difficult children." I didn't like that description... if I ever have children, I wouldn't force them to be Witnesses. I would present to them what I believe and hope they would become Witnesses, but I wouldn't try to force them or view them as problem children if they chose a different path. Perhaps it is because I haven't been raised to be the sort of parent who grooms your child to be a certain thing... or perhaps it is because I am such an independent free spirit and never listened to what my parents told me I was supposed to be when I grew up that I can't imagine insisting that my child do that. But then, I'm not having children until the new system anyway, so I suppose it is rather a moot point.

I don't find the Bible patriarchal most of the time, but the particular way the brother put things in his talk this morning it felt suddenly very patriarchal. Although I'm sure he didn't intend it to come off that way. But he and I weren't on the same wavelength at all for most of the time... even when we were talking one-on-one. Although we did manage to get on the same wavelength eventually somehow. I don't know... it was a very interesting day.

I did have a nice dinner with one of the brothers in the congregation, however... we talked a lot, and that was really good for me -- I have some great friends in the congregation here and I really love that. It is something that I very much needed.

Two weeks until Spring Break. I will survive. I will survive. I will survive.

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