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why am I so good at screwing things up?

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Jan. 22nd, 2001 | 11:26 pm
mood: aggravatedaggravated
music: Tori Amos - Winter

I have lost a great deal of my self-confidence today. I saw Pat for the first time in literally months which was just plain eerie. And I pissed off Mark. Good job me. And somehow I don't think I'll get another chance. Which I suppose doesn't matter except that it does to me because I don't like making enemies and I always feel badly when I know someone has stopped talking to me.

I feel very prickly and unlikeable right now... it is not a pleasant feeling.

I'm tired of all of this stress. Really really tired of it. I want a simple life where all I have to worry about is class, not whether my mom will die sometime soon. But I guess everybody has their trials... Just keep repeating first corinithians and I will be okay. well repeat that and pray.

I will be in Boston four days from now. That makes me so completely happy I don't even have words for it. =)

I think it's some odd phase of the moon. I have been more irritable than usual today and have not tempered it enough. Shame on me. I don't know whether it's stress or hormones or what, but something tells me I need to start dancing more because somehow life just seemed much saner when I did that. It expelled extra energy or something. I don't know.

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