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a healthy dose of cynicism

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Jan. 22nd, 2001 | 12:05 am
mood: pissed offpissed off
music: Indigo Girls get out the map

I think one of the most tragic things about my life in New York is that I've become much more cynical than I used to be. I have my faith and my idealism about some things... but when it comes to most people... and things that happen to me, I don't really trust them. I expect things to be a scam of some sort... maybe because so many things here are.

Matt. You are a jerk.

You melt my heart after I've talked myself into believing you're not right for me and you give me hope and then you turn around and act like I'm so worthless. And you know what? I'm not. So pick one. Either we are friends or we're not.

I hate this. The thing is, I have no desire whatsoever even to be with him anymore because I'm so sick of all of it. But the whole "I like you I don't I like you I don't." thing is getting on my nerves. My heart is not a toy to be played with. And no one has a right to treat someone else like dirt. Grr.

And for some reason I still feel like crying and dying.

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Comments {2}

Ah! No, please cheer up!

from: anonymous
date: Jan. 22nd, 2001 11:00 am (UTC)

Sorry that you're feeling hurt, Liz, but it'll pass--plus a weekend of spontaneous fun is coming up! *get-better hug* ;^) ~~DreamerSpice~~

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Re: Ah! No, please cheer up!

from: stellae
date: Jan. 23rd, 2001 02:49 pm (UTC)

Yay for spontaneous fun! 3 days!!!! =)

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