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Bits and pieces, life here, there and everywhere

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Mar. 27th, 2010 | 05:26 pm

Most of my writing, lately, has been going to my knitting blog, which has left rather a dearth of writing energy and therefore entries here at livejournal.

I think I like writing somewhere that has a set focus. Occasionally it's harder to think up a topic, but more often than not, I worry a lot less about whether what I have to say is interesting to anyone but me.

That said, I've also been busy lately. Really busy.

I spent a lot of February getting my bearings after a long trip and two weeks of intensity that involved a can can performance and rehearsals for and filming of a short film. It kind of amazes me that 2 8-hour days of pretty intense work (not counting all of the rehearsals beforehand) are probably going to translate, all told, into 2-3 minutes of film. It's a very different mindset than stage performances, where it's a lot of work and rehearsal time for 3 minutes on stage but those 3 minutes, well, they come and they go quickly and they are what they are... but the prep work often has an opportunity to last a lot longer.

I also managed to settle on plans for an experiment and get some ideas about where I'm heading with the new experimental architecture and collect a bunch of data. I started taking a Lindy performance class which has, I think, been good for me. Very different from Ballroom. I designed and knit an awesome pair of knee socks. I'm about halfway through writing the pattern which I'll be sending off for testing and putting up for sale hopefully soon. I'm kind of awed that apparently, a lot of people liked it.

March crept in quietly and has been ramping up steadily in terms of workload and so on. I don't think I've seen very many people on a social front -- a substantial quantity of sleep debt makes me somewhat unfit for human consumption. But, I managed to get an experiment up and running, and get some knitwear designs submitted (and accepted! Pattern to be published through The Sanguine Gryphon in June) and collect some data so I'm feeling a lot better about my life as a scientist and as a knitter and so on.

I think I've finally made peace with the idea that I probably won't have a Career in the traditional sense, but that I'll have something more piecemeal -- some teaching, some editing, some writing/designing/pattern-producing -- but that such a path is right for me (at least for the next while). I love travel, I love dance and I love creating and crafting and I find that it really matters to my health and sanity that my life allow me to do all of those things and be mentally and physically and emotionally present with and for my friends and family. I need something that lets me do that without a perpetual guilty feeling of "I'm not working hard enough." But, at least realizing that that is what I want, really want, has helped me stop swimming in circles, attempting to make peace with a set of sacrifices that I'm not sure I ever could have made (or for that matter, asked Sam to make).

Life is good. Busy sometimes, maddening sometimes, stressful sometimes... but the general trajectory is forward and forward toward somewhere interesting.


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