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Jan. 1st, 2009 | 09:54 pm
mood: thoughtfulthoughtful

I skipped all of the New Years parties to which I was invited last night in favor of spending a quiet night at home drinking champagne and finishing up a few knitting projects and watching old movies with etler.

Some of this is because I'm still at the tail end of a cold and some was my shy, inner introvert standing up emphatically and insisting that she really just needed a break from EVERYTHING.

2008 has been a big year.

It started with a case of Shingles and stress related to studying for my qualifying exam (which I passed parts of and failed other parts of, retook at the end of May and passed with smiles of approval and hugs from my committee and pride in my hard work). Oh and there was some prednisone and a trip to NYC and a lot of walks and talks and showing etler some parts of my history. My old life, the one that was after childhood and before California.

There was a lot of studying at coffee shops for a big scary exam, and then two months of very hard work to pull together a conference presentation.

I danced at Nationals and became a Prechamp Standard Finalist. This means very little outside of my little life, but, to me, for a lot of reasons, was a Very Big Deal.

I got engaged, which was nothing like I expected it to be. Not better, not worse, just different. I am marrying someone who loves me in spite of my idiosynracies and even seems to adore some (all?) of them. I learned that this does not mean I will feel head-in-the-clouds blissed-out all day, every day. But I learned that I am very, very lucky... and I'm discovering that we're still learning about each other and how to appreciate each other and about all the things there are to appreciate about each other.

I presented at a conference, I passed my quals, I went to Argentina which was amazing in a million and one ways (especially the waterfalls at Iguazu for which there aren't really words. Breathtaking doesn't begin to describe it). It was not my best timing as I needed to be out of my apartment in Berkeley about a week after I returned from two weeks of travel, and getting out of said apartment required sifting through four years worth of acquired Stuff. Some of it came with me to the apartment in San Francisco and has still not been sifted. Sometimes I think that if I actually had an entire month straight with no responsibilities, I could really get my life in order. But since I don't see that as likely to happen in the near future, I suppose I'll muddle along like everyone else.

etler and I moved into a beautiful Victorian Flat in San Francsico. We're still in the process of building our household together and organizing and furnishing and decorating our space, but, having been here six months, it really feels like home. Living together has been the sort of experience that has changed me and my life in a pretty fundamental way. I hope someday I'll be able to come up with the right words to describe all the things I had to start thinking of that I never really thought about when I lived alone... or even the ones I thought about when I lived with roommates.

I took etler to Minnesota to meet my family, he took me to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving to meet his. I learned a lot about tradition over that holiday.

We went to Ashland for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival to celebrate one year of dating. We went to Yellowstone which was a beautiful place but one that I would definitely like to go back to and approach a bit differently, having now "hit" the major Tourist Sights.

I joined Le Can Can Bijou and performed at Dickens Fair for the first time (because the stars seemed to have finally aligned to give me the time and energy to do so). It was one of the most exhausting and exhilarating experiences I've ever had. I can't wait until next year.

I went skiing a couple times and managed to get sick both times. It was still worth it and I hope to ski more this season.

2008 ended quietly with a night home with my love, cozy and mellow and really appreciating having some Time for each other that lasted longer than a few minutes of checking in before collapsing into bed.

I knit a lot. I learned a lot. I studied a lot. I reflected on the fact that I have wonderful, wonderful people in my life who haven't seen nearly as much of me as I'm sure they'd like (or I'd like) because we've all been busy and we've all had these Major Life Things happening. I've met wonderful new people who I want to be closer to and kept close to and deepened friendships with "old" people. I'm trying to adjust to the ebb and flow of life as it happens, of closeness between people, of the times where you see a lot of people or see them rarely but deeply and intensely against the times where you disappear into the solace of your own company or the cocoon of a relationship.

My hope, for 2009, is that I will make the time to keep friendships close and nurture new ones, live, laugh, love, learn, end it as I ended 2008: older, wiser, and happy and appreciative for the many gifts and blessings I have.

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from: stellae
date: Jan. 18th, 2009 11:52 pm (UTC)

Thanks! I think that it's sort of important to do, one way or another just because everything seems so important while it's happening... and sometimes it's nice to spend a little time consolidating and deciding what to really keep and hold on to... and tracking personal growth. It gets harder to do that as I get older, in some ways. :-)

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