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a giant black hole

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Dec. 29th, 2000 | 10:33 pm
mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
music: Sugar Ray - Every Morning

That's what the last week has felt like. I went home, because going home the first winter break of college is pretty obligatory... plus everyone else goes home and looks forward to it and hey, I wouldn't want to be WEIRD now, would I? Anyway, it feels like several days were sucked into a giant black hole in which I did stuff but got nothing done.

Of course, it doesn't help that I've changed a LOT from when I first moved out here... in a lot of ways. It's kind of disturbing, but it's probably good in a lot of ways. But I guess I knew I was ready to move on from that life and I never looked back... except that the reality that I can't go back "home" again any more than I can crawl back into the womb is a bit startling. I guess everone goes through it, though.

I've gotten out of the habit of writing here and now I don't know what to say. I am, however, overwhelmingly glad to be back at my computer with my starwars desktop theme and my winamp... and I oddly feel more at home in my tiny dorm room than I do in my bedroom at home which is much larger.

Home is where the heart is. I never appreciated that saying until now, when I'm learning that home now isn't where I thought it was. Home is something that you make for yourself, and it's not built of four walls or a house or an apartment... home is built of the people you love and who care about you. And except for a couple people in Minnesota, my life and my friends are here. In New York. And New York is my home.

Oh and by the way, Orange Tea is very good. I actually bothered to boil water and make myself tea tonight and I felt good about myself. Tomorrow, however, I am going to go and buy myself a microwave. And some groceries.

Supposedly we're getting a huge amount of snow here. So far there's nothing falling from the sky.

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