September 25th, 2005


Sometimes it really is the little things...

I would just like to say that I am really lucky... I have really really great friends.

I look back on a year ago and I remember this time last year feeling terribly loneley. I went to class, I came home and watched TV, and occasionally I went to dance practice with a guy who wouldn't commit to wanting to compete or taking private lessons or any such thing. On weekends, I spent time cooking random things, always making too much because, well, recipes aren't often written with the idea that they're only for one person. Nor do foods, with the exception of frozen dinners, come packaged with that idea in mind. But I had a happy, full freezer for several months, so I guess it's not all bad.

Of course, my freezer, being happily just a little TOO full decided not to stay closed properly, last week, and then, even when it was closed properly, decided it didn't want to cool down properly for a matter of a few days. Which meant that it went from happily full to sadly thawed and I had to throw out some amount of food. Add that to the flat tire on my car that occurred in such a way that the tire had to be replaced (and unfortunately, my car has expensive tires. They're warrantied to 80.000 miles or something insane like that, which means they'll probably last me about 10 years, the way I drive and gas prices being what they are, but they're expensive to replace) and the fact that my mom is by many measurements the sickest she's been in the last 11 years save the first 6 months after she was diagnosed and I was really ready to just give up on everything. Fortunately, parents helped with that cost when I called in a highly annoyed panic. And shallwedance_ brought me ice cream at practice on Wednesday as a surprise because "life [had] not been kind to [me] lately, so [he] wanted to balance it a little." For which I deem him a truly amazing friend. (And for many other things, but really, it is these sorts of things that make me have sudden moments of realizing that I am incredibly lucky).

I have been reflecting recently on how, in the short space of a year, I've gone from having no local friends and no social life to speak of to being so busy that I find myself choosing between social engagements and trying to figure out how to fit the one extra thing or one new person into a full schedule. And I like that. The nights that I'm home alone, it's generally because I either have work to do or because I want to be home and just have some time to myself, and I think it's great to have the kind of life where I can appreciate having a day here or there with nothing to do, instead of feeling trapped by too many of such days.
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    Title: Non C'è Artist: Laura Pausini