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Aug. 31st, 2004 | 11:37 pm

It's nights like this when I really miss being in New York. I miss living in dorms, I miss living with other people and most of all, I miss the city and its 24-hour convenience. I miss having a grocery within 5-minutes walking distance. At this time of night late night cravings for comfort foods can only be met by driving, and while the drive is not far, it requires getting in my car and giving up my coveted parking space to the taco truck owned by my next-door neighbors.

Somehow, I am finding myself not in such desperate needs of a comforting snack.

Berkeley is nice. I'm making friends, the department is great, my classes, so far look tough but great, and I have no doubt that my rotation, once I set it up, will be great as well.

I'm coming to realize that I do much better with a schedule. When faced with a complete lack of structure I tend to lose my way and be completely unproductive. I reason that I have time to read this book or that, to do this project or that, when really I should be taking my time to check off all of the particulars on my to-do list. (Checking them off after completing them, of course).

Of course, if I were truly desperate for company, I'm sure I could find a group of peers at the Shattuck Down Low where they have Karaoke from 8pm until 2am on Tuesday nights, or I could mill along Telegraph or hole myself up in a cafe. I could call dance people or any number of things, but all of it feels like it is something of a desperate attempt to throw myself into activities to replace old friends.

A new chapter in my life is beginning, and somehow, it feels as though the beginning of a new chapter means the closing of an old. I am not quite ready for that old chapter to close, becoming another annal in the archives of memory.

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from: stellae
date: Sep. 1st, 2004 11:21 pm (UTC)

So can I still crash at your place one night this weekend?

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