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finding my niche and growing into it

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Dec. 10th, 2000 | 01:47 am
mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
music: Chicago - You're the Inspiration

It's a funny thing how as I become stronger in one thing that should make people reject me, I have more friends than I had when I wasn't as strong in my belief. My analytical personality wants to figure out what exactly causes such a phenomenon... is it that I seem strong and at peace with things regardless of what happens to me and people gravitate to that? Is it that I'm just a very nice person, but am totally authentic and real about what I believe and what my life is like?

Definitely questions to be pondered.

I think I am rather complex. I like to feel very connected with the people in my life and know what's going on with them and also have them know what's going on with me... but I like to have my own time, space and privacy as well.

I'm feeling very reflective right now and I want to record my thoughts some place, but I'm really not in a writing mood at the moment. Plus I think I'm beginning to get sick... and I'm stressed. If I make it until Wednesday, I will be fine. But I have a lot of work to get done before then. I will just have to become a hermit and buckle down and work and work and work tomorrow, no matter how crummy I feel. Tomorrow and Monday will be hard working days and then I can take a few days off for the purposes of Finals prep. Oy vey.

Oy vey. I never used to say that. Now I live in New York and it's become a frequent companion of my speech. Go figure.

I am off to ponder and sleep and other such things now. Goodnight.

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