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Night and Day

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Jun. 11th, 2003 | 02:41 pm
mood: stressedstressed

Physics test in 2 days! *panic*

Okay, panicking aside, home was good. My brother has graduated from high school and I am so very very proud of him for that. I honestly believe that he worked harder for his high school diploma than I worked for mine with its 3.987 GPA, national merit finalist and all that. Probably even adding in all of my college work wouldn't add up to the work he's done and the obstacles he's overcome for that piece of paper.

There were odd parts to the graduation. At the commencement exercises, they recognized alumni and it really hit me that I am, in fact, an alumna... and it felt odd to stand there and have people applaud for me and all of my friends and everybody I've ever known who went to EHS. I suppose that I'm just used to applause that is expected -- it comes following something I've presented to others that should elicit polite applause if nothing else. In those situations I know what to expect and how to accept it graciously.

The other awkward part of being in Minnesota and at Edina and seeing many of my old classmates because of younger siblings who graduated with my brother was how the way they treat me changed. People who were too good to speak to me when I was in high school greeted me and asked about my life and so on. People who would have been good friends because of inherent similarities who chose other life paths that made them above me in the social order are recognizing that perhaps it is of value to keep in touch.

When I left high school and left Minnesota, I LEFT. Every time I go back, I look at it as an outsider, and I look at all of these people who seemed so important when I was in high school and realize that some things weren't as important as I thought they were... and that I was more well-known and perhaps well-liked than I thought I was.

The scariest thing about Minnesota: a friend of mine is married already. I am thrilled for her because she seems happy about it, but she is my age and already married and that still leaves me stunned. When we were in high school, we didn't seem that different, she and I ~ we had our boyfriends and our debates about which guy we liked better and what we wanted to do with our life and how stressful were APs and wouldn't our AP Calc teacher be disappointed that we weren't taking any math beyond calculus in our senior year of high school. And now while I am worrying about graduate schools and medical schools and classes and dance and just enjoying my twenties and living my life, she is married.

Amazing, the journeys on which life takes us all.

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