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welcome home to good old 3N

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Dec. 6th, 2000 | 02:11 am
mood: anxiousanxious
music: Weird Al - You Don't Love Me Anymore

Fire drills at 1 am. Ick. Fortunately I was wearing my flannel pajamas. So what if they're Tigger PJs.... they were warm. Well them plus my wool winter coat plus the fact that it's 40 degrees warmer here than the temperature I left in MN this morning... 11 below wind chill eesh.

I'm worried about my mom. I'm trying very hard to function and concentrate, but it doesn't go so well. I mean, it's okay for the mindless memorization and regurgitation type tasks... or even reading and analysis, when the analysis is minimal. But that's because I BS well. Writing sweatshop is a vast problem for me right now, however, because it requires original, coherent thought, which right now I am in no mental state to accomplish. But I don't want to get TOO far behind. *SIGH* Life is much too complicated.

You picked a bad time to be this sick Mom. Although I know you didn't pick it.

I keep repeating to myself that if I can just work hard and make it for one more week then everything will be fine. The problem is that I have one essay that needs a lot of revising... and I understand what my teacher is telling me to do, but I am in no mental state to do it right now because I simply cannot concentrate for that long on any one thing. I am failing at what I used to think I was best at.

My apartment is becoming ever encumbered with Christmas. Decorations abound... two trees, presents under one of them, stockings which actually have little goodie bags in them... it feels very odd. It's like, I don't celebrate the holiday and my suitemates are tolerant of that, but are very gung-ho about it... and I hope they won't be offended when I don't get them Christmas presents. Of course, even if they are, I am planning on getting something for each of them from Italy when I go, since that's more my thing... to find nice things for people when I travel to interesting places... or just when I find something that reminds me of someone. I think gift-giving is more fun that way.

I'm glad I went home for Mom's surgery. She really needed me to be there. And now I have to get on with my life, and it's hard because I feel very far away and that worries me. No news until Monday about the bladder... and now I won't even be there to see what the discharge from her catheter looks like. As of today it was still very bloody. Ah well. I will keep praying. I WILL.

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