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And it seems I'm gonna make it

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Apr. 19th, 2001 | 11:53 pm
mood: tiredtired
music: Bette Midler - Shiver Me Timbers

Well, another week is almost finished, and it seems that I will perhaps actually survive. I still have a problem set to do for chemistry, but that's all right -- it isn't long at least, which is good... except that it seems to involve a lot of thermo which will make it highly annoying to do. And I just want to go to bed. I'm tired, I guess -- the adrenaline is slowly leaving my system and I'm falling low because of it.

I register for classes tomorrow morning. Must get up early to take care of that before recitation. It will be my second to last set of recitations for the school year. How very unnerving.

Things still to do: email about Jane Eyre. Write draft of sweatshop paper. Do research at New York Public Library on literary criticism and show criticism. Stop writing to do lists.

As much as they help me get organized, they are certainly not good writing, and I am aiming to become, somewhere in my odd hopes, a better writer. I wish I could write things that touch people's souls. But, I suppose that for now if I just write my writing will eventually improve on its own. I just lack journal inspiration right now.

I gave my frist talk at East Side congregation tonight. I'd given many talks before, but this one was my first in this congregation. It was also a first in that I didn't consult my mother on it at all while writing it. I had been getting to that point a couple years ago, but it was cool to note that I really did it all on my own this time. :-) It was an easy talk for me, though -- The Bible is Scientifically Sound -- one that I tell people about all the time. It was funny, though, because I apparently was really relaxed and gave a talk just like an old pro... so the people who thought I might have given talks before were pretty sure after that. hee hee hee.

I've realized that acting really is a life skill. Well, that and that I'm just a born performer. I can be so nervous that I feel like my heart is in my throat before I get up to do something (as I very definitely was tonight -- I was just waiting for my talk to be over -- and then I got up there and things were just fine. But it's like, I went into performance mode -- I was doing something and I was on display in front of a microphone. I was then acting. People asked me afterward if I was nervous. While I was on the stage giving my part, I really wasn't. But before then, boy...

Ah the life of a "gamer" as they call it. I will rise to the occasion... what doesn't work in rehearsal, even if it never works in rehearsal, will be there for me when I'm on stage.

I miss performing.

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